What You Should and Should NOT Say...

So in the years that Jonathan and I have walked this road of infertility and loss, I can't tell you the number of times I've been left somewhat agape at the kinds of things people ask and say in regards to pregnancy and "trying".  I've wanted to write this post for a long time, so here it finally is.  Don't be offended or embarrassed if you've asked me any of these yourself.  I've grown a thick skin about it all! :) At this point most of them kind of make me laugh on the inside.  Just take this as a little tidbit of "education" on the matter.  Whether you *know* a woman is pregnant, trying to conceive, or not...it doesn't matter.  Be wise in what you ask and how you ask it!

6+ Things to Never Say to Any Woman...Infertile or Not:

1) How long have you two been married? ______ <---insert your answer here.  Wow!  When are you guys gonna start a family?

Lord in Heaven.  Frankly, this question just sucks.  Because if you aren't wanting children, there's no good response.  If you're trying at the moment (no matter how long you've been trying for) the answer is awkward.  "Well as a matter of fact the hubs and I got weird on the couch this morning because we're currently trying...".  If you're in the early stages of a pregnancy but aren't wanting to reveal it yet, what the heck could you say?? If you've been dealing with infertility, the question makes you want to cry.  Either cry or be SUPER cynical.  Cynical is the route I always go in my head when this question is asked.  For instance, "Actually we hate children", or "We already are a family actually."  But what comes out of my mouth is "Whenever God decides to let it happen!".  Bottom line, just don't ask the question.  

2)  Are you guys trying??

This is a piggy back on question #1.  If you stop and think about it, that question is asking WAY more than you should be privy to in someone's relationship.  Essentially what you're asking is if the couple is having sex on a regular basis without protection.  If you reword the EXACT SAME QUESTION you are saying "Hey you two, how often are you having sex and are you wearing a condom?"  Surely you wouldn't be bold enough as to ask that question of someone.  I have to slap myself on the wrist for this one (and maybe all of these), because I've asked it before...  For shame, Rach, for shame...

3)  My friend's cousin's boss had a miscarriage.  I know what you're going through.

Welp...you don't really.  This isn't meant to be inflammatory in any way.  Neither is it meant to keep you from expressing sympathy or empathy to women who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy.  What I'm saying is that for those of us who *have* experienced loss, we know there is a large part of it that is unexplainable.  It can't be empathized with unless you've experienced it first hand.  The better response if you have never personally experienced the loss of a pregnancy?  Something along the lines of "I know I can't come close to understanding what you're going through, but I'm willing to listen if you need an ear", or "You've been on my mind and heart lately".   A sweet friend at church said the latter to me one Sunday morning *months* after our loss and she probably never knew how much that meant to me.  She said so much without saying much at all...

4)  Just relax and stop trying so hard and I bet it will happen for you guys.

No no no and again I say NO!  Ok, so maybe this little anecdote has worked on *some*.  But let me tell you, after 5 years of infertility struggles, when I hear this statement all I hear is "You probably aren't having good enough sex."  I already think it's probably something *I'm* doing to hinder this from happening.  I definitely don't need help in that department!  But the "lack of relaxation" factor kind of went out the window about 40 months ago.  Clearly it is something more than just stressed out eggs or sperm with performance anxiety.  Even if this tactic seemingly worked for you and your pregnancy, you probably *still* shouldn't say it to a woman who is distressed about her lack of success thus far...

5) You can babysit anytime you want!  *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

This does NOT help.  Ever.  Reworded in the mind of a woman who desperately wants children but is unable to have them is this: "I have kids already and you don't.  Come borrow mine.  It will make you feel better.  My kids are awesome."  While the thought is nice, it does not help.  That's not to say that I don't love your children and wouldn't enjoy spending time with them.  But it's not a replacement for my own children.  Nor is it funny as a "tongue in cheek" type deal...

5B) Are you *sure* you want one of these?  Kids aren't all they're cracked up to be...

I know this is cynical and that you don't really mean it.  But it sucks.  It's weird.  I've told people in response to this statement "Well I would have 8 if I could have 1."  And that is the God's honest truth. I'd take a million dirty diapers and temper tantrums and crayoned walls and snotty noses over NO BABY AT ALL.  So yes, actually.  I am sure that I'm sure that I'm sure that I "want one of those".  And no I do not want to "take yours off your hands".  

6) "THE ULTIMATE NO NO!"  What if you're just not meant to have kids?

Is this supposed to be some sort of "harsh reality" type tactic to yank my head out of the clouds?  Whether you know it or not, or whether I'm willing to admit it or not, those thoughts cross my mind frequently.  And you just vocalized my worst nightmare.  What if all this pain and suffering and longing is just a farce and this is something not meant to be mine anyway?  Oh no no no no no.  This is no.  Might I arrive at this conclusion eventually?  Maybe.  Let's hope not.  Either way will it be you who helps me arrive at said conclusion?  Most definitely not... 

5 Things That You Could Say Instead

1) I was/am so sorry to hear about your loss.

It's so nice to hear someone acknowledge the loss of your child in miscarriage.  Because it really is a loss of a child.  No I never gave birth to him or held him, but he is beyond a shadow of a doubt a "real baby".  And the loss of our child was devastating.  Thank you you for recognizing the life of my baby.  For a minute I felt like a mommy...

2) *I* went through/am going through exactly what you're going through.  We had a miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy/still born/chemical pregnancy/blighted ovum/infertility/etc. too.

LADIES!!  If you encounter someone who has experienced loss similar to yours SPEAK UP!!  Infertility and pregnancy loss is such a silent struggle and it shouldn't be.  Be bold in sharing your story but be even bolder about sharing your story with those that need the solidarity the most!  It's a crappy club to be in, but it's even crappier when you feel like you're the only one in it.  Band together and hold each other up.  It was the women who came out of the woodwork to empathize with me in regards to their losses that helped me learn to deal with the hand I'd been dealt...

3) You guys are going to have some beautiful babies one day.

Thanks!  Man I LOVE this statement!  It doesn't speak to the hopelessness that many women in this boat feel.  It DOES, however, speak to the hope that one day those "beautiful babies" will be a reality!  And I LOVE speculating with people about what my babies will look like.  Will they be dark headed or bald or have that amazing Womack red hair?  Will they have blue eyes or brown eyes?  Will they be super smart or super athletic or both??  For a minute you took me out of hopelessness and brought me into hopefulness...

4)  This *is* going to happen for you guys!

Yes!  I really needed you to say that.  A brief moment happened there where I forgot my fears about losing another child.  I forgot my pain in losing the one(s) I've lost.  And I smiled on the inside because I really needed your vote of confidence.  Because most days I can't muster it for myself...

5)  You are in my thoughts and on my heart.

You could pair this with a "Please let me know if you need anything" if you're feeling inclined to deliver on that request.  But the first sentence is more than enough.  You don't even have to expand on it.  You don't have to say the word miscarriage, or loss, or baby, or infertility, or anything.  Because I know what you're referring to.  And I know you aren't trying to pry.  This statement means so very much to women going through this.  Just the reminder that someone knows you're in pain or you're struggling is soothing...

Again, I hope this doesn't upset you.  It's not meant that way.  I've been on both sides of this fence.  I've been on the "My friend lost her baby and I have no idea what to say" side, and I've been on the "I've been through this and I know what you're going through" side.  I hope this helps you to *not* avoid women you know are struggling with loss or infertility because you don't know what to say.  I hope it also helps you avoid saying the things that you shouldn't.  To any woman.  But to lighten the mood a little, I thought I would share a little story about my dad and how he learned never to ask "the wrong questions":

Daddy (at a garage sale trying to strike up a conversation with the woman who owns the home): Hi!  How are you this beautiful Saturday?

Homeowner:  Doing well!  How bout yourself?

Daddy:  Doing fine.  You guys have quite a bit you're getting rid of.  Are you moving?

Homeowner:  No.  Just trying to get rid of some stuff!

Daddy:  You must have a ton of baby stuff in the house then.  I can't believe you're getting rid of so much baby clothing when you've got one on the way!

Homeowner: *blink...blink, blink*  Sir I'm not pregnant.

Daddy (awkwardly trying to extract his foot from his mouth):  Oh, well then I'm sure your baby is beautiful!

Homeowner:  My children are 18 and 22 sir.

Daddy: *blink...blink, blink*  Ok well you have a good day then. <---power walks to car

Oh Daddy...

How My Body Responds to Hormones

Folks, let me tell ya.  Infertility and fertility treatments and unbalanced hormones have done a number on my 29 year old body.  My unbalanced hormones have done a number on my poor 31 year old husband too, bless his little pea pickin' heart.  If you are one of the millions who's hormone levels are normal and you are able to handle fluctuations or synthetic hormones like a champ, count your blessings.  Mine has been a different story...

I went on birth control (NuvaRing) starting in March 2007.  Three months before Jonathan and I got married on June 2nd.  If you look at my studio bridal portraits (taken in January before we married), you see one Rachel.  If you look at our wedding pictures you see a similarly sized Rachel who's breasts have grown to twice their size.  If you look at pictures of me from the 4th of July in that same year (32 days after our wedding), you might not even recognize me.  See for yourself...

Here's my bridal portrait without retouching.  My shoulders are thin, my neck is slender, the top of my dress fits like a dream...

One of the pictures from my wedding.  My waist has stayed about the same, but my boobs are now two times bigger and my face is noticeably rounder...

And then there are these lovely pictures.  I realize I am sans makeup and not in a gorgeous wedding gown, but geez.  When these pictures came out I was shocked.  32 days after my wedding, I was 10-15 pounds heavier.  And it got worse from there.  By December I had gained a full 33 pounds since the start of the year.  33 pounds!!!  Needless to say I stopped the birth control after the start of the next year...

Thankfully in the last 2 years I've been able to lose nearly all of those 33 pounds.  5-7 of them are still hanging out in my midsection, but it took some SERIOUS work and the better part of 2 years to get it off...

But weight gain is not the only thing I deal with when it comes to unbalanced hormones.  During our fertility treatments, I went bonkers (I KNOW Jonathan is looking forward to going through *that* again this summer!).  I am prone to some pretty irrational mood swings.  Lately I've also developed some weird hormonal symptoms involved with ovulation (since I'm finally ovulating regularly for possibly the first time in my life...).  I get horrible lower back pain and mood swings when the estrogen in my system changes (which it does around ovulation).  I am really irritable and easily saddened.  And my poor ovaries (maybe this is because they are awake and working for the first time in a long time!) ache.  Makes my hips really sore.  

Not to mention, taking this Cabergoline "scrambles my brains".  I take one quarter of a milligram of medication once a week.  Every Monday.  And it makes me feel slightly dizzy, I have trouble when I go from a crouching or kneeling position into a standing position.  Sometimes I feel like I might pass out when that happens.  When I say it scrambles my brains, I mean for instance that sometimes I will be engaged in a conversation with someone and I will all of a sudden not be able to follow the conversation.  I have a hard time recalling names (which gets interesting on Mondays in Kindergarten!) sometimes.  All these symptoms reduce in severity throughout the week, which is nice, but it's a price I have to pay.  Ovulating regularly increases our chances of conceiving naturally (which we are still hoping might happen anyway...wouldn't that be glorious??!) so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do... 

I'm willing to pay all those prices and even more if it means I get to be a mommy.  A dear sweet friend of my SIL Nicole has been SO supportive of us.  Nicole and I both have suffered miscarriages.  Nicole has actually suffered two.  How she survived emotionally, I can only attribute to the grace and power of God.  Her strength is inspiring to me!  But sweet Emma Claire made this statement:

"I'm praying that God would be moving and forming and "tinkering" in just the most perfect of ways... To prepare for the most perfectly perfect miracles in each of you. Miracles that you will love now-even more than had they come with ease. Miracles that will do big things for our big God. Miracles that we KNOW will come in His most perfect timing. Miracles that we're thanking and praising God for in advance... Because they're coming."

Which reminded me on this Monday morning that having to go through what I'm going through to become a mommy, really is going to make me appreciate my miracles more than I would have.  I didn't want to believe that at first.  With the loss of our first pregnancy (which we achieved in our first month of "trying") I cynically asked God why He thought I wouldn't appreciate my baby enough to let him stay with me here on earth.  It's not that I wouldn't have appreciated him then.  I totally would have...I did and I do.  But it's true that after all of this, the implications for me are different.  The impact on my heart and on my life will be much bigger...

Sometimes just envisioning that positive pregnancy test gives me an adrenaline rush.  Makes my heart race.  Gives me butterflies.  I think I might need to be resuscitated on the day that that happens, because I seriously might black out!  So many years of trying and failing, so many many tears, so much pain, so many vials of blood drawn, shots administered, ultrasounds performed.  So many hours pinning baby things to my Pinterest boards.  So many nights drifting off to sleep envisioning my sweet babies in my arms...

When they get here it will be glorious.  Breathtaking in fact.  But in the meantime...hormones SUCK..

That is all! 

I Am Hannah

For me it's been comforting through these years of infertility and loss to read about women who have struggled through the same thing.  It's been empowering and calming to know that I'm not the only one who has walked or is walking this road.  It's a daily struggle.  One of the things I like to do when I'm feeling particularly "left out" of the mommy club (and it IS a club...one I desperately want to be a part of...) is to read about women in the Bible who suffered in this way.  I search out the same stories and read them over and over.

The story of Samson's mother who's womb was closed and then she received a prophesy that she would indeed conceive a child...a son who would be blessed by God and she was not to let a razor touch his head...

The story of Elizabeth who was older and had been barren her whole life.  She and her husband prayed and begged God to open her womb, and then God sent an angel to Elizabeth's husband Zechariah to tell him that Elizabeth would bear a son and they were to name him John.  John was to pave the way for the coming of Jesus...

The story of Sarai who was REALLY old and tried every which way to give Abraham children.  And was of course floored when God revealed his plan even in her old age and Isaac was conceived.  He accomplished the seemingly impossible.  She was so shocked she laughed out loud...

The story of Pharoah's daughter who eventually went on to be the adoptive mother of Moses.  She wanted a child and God answered that prayer in an unimaginable way when a baby literally floated right up to her in a basket.  A heavenly gift...

And...

The story of Hannah.  Which is my favorite.  And interestingly enough it was the topic du jour for inLightin (a children's ministry I'm involved with here in Dominica).  While I sat with two or three precious babies in my lap during the last two Friday's sessions, I couldn't help but smile at God's timing and His reassurance through scripture...

Hannah BEGGED God to give her a child.  Begged Him to open her womb.  She knelt, she wept, she wailed.  She promised that if God would grant her this request she would raise her child up in the Lord.  She would "give him back" so to speak.  Her prayers were so fervent that God granted her request and gave her a son, Samuel.  Who was a pivotal character in the Bible and indeed did live his life as an offering to the Lord.

Here's my take:

1) Don't get it twisted.  God didn't *finally* give Hannah a son because she prayed for him "correctly".  He did not grant her request because He "felt sorry for her".  No, Hannah had arrived at the place in her life where she knew the only thing she could rely on in her life's most trying hour was her God.  And I think that this was to be her time all along.  She felt that something was about to give..something was about to change in her life.  And she desperately wanted that change to be a child in her womb.  This was a time when God's desires and Hannah's desires were one in the same.  The worldly and the divine converged and then Samuel was conceived...

2) It was probably not an easy thing to say that she would give her son back to God.  In those days that meant he would live in the temple and live the life of a priest.  It was not a statement to be taken lightly.  But Hannah arrived at the truth that her conceiving a child was fully a "God thing" and she was humbled by this realization.   No matter what, her baby belonged to God.  She was simply the vessel he arrived in.  She was the person God had chosen to raise one of His creations.  And she could do nothing but be obedient to Him...

I AM HANNAH...

I can't tell you the number of times I have knelt (literally) before God and begged him for a baby.  Too many times I have cried to the point of migraines and swollen eyelids asking Him...pleading with Him to "open my womb".  I've shaken my fists at Him.  Wondered "why He gave her a baby and left me hanging".  I've yelled full voice at Him.  I've questioned His judgement.  I've even questioned His existence.  That's a hard thing to come out and say.  But I have.  God, if you're there, if you exist and you love me, then why do my insides feel like they're being ripped out and scorched because of something YOU can change??  I've asked those questions...

Why then do I *still* cling to my God even after years of disappointment, a tragic loss, and frequent bouts of hopelessness?  Why have I not written Him off and decided that He doesn't exist and/or I shouldn't bother continuing to put my faith in His plan?

Because I know that I know that I know that He is faithful.  He is EVERYTHING He's promised.  I have seen full evidence of His existence in my life.  I've seen Him miraculously heal.  I've seen Him miraculously protect.  I've felt His presence.  I've heard His voice.  I've seen His heart.  I KNOW He exists.  And I simply *have* to keep clinging to His promise that He won't leave me or forsake me.  I have to keep believing that I will find Him when I seek Him with all of my heart.  I have to continue to hear Him when he says He will grant me the desires of my heart, of *our* hearts, when we take delight in Him.  I have to understand and accept that He is the ultimate parent.  He's making the hard decisions.  His heart is breaking to see me cry...to hear me weep.  But He knows the plan...he sees the finish line...and He knows there's a beautiful story unfolding.  He won't compromise what He knows is our great adventure to come, just to keep me from crying.  He'll comfort me along the way and *still* finish what He started in me.

He knows the plan.  He's giving me little glimpses of it as we walk this road.  He is moving.  Right now.  He is moving in our lives and Jonathan and I are feeling His presence and His power right now in a real way.  We know something is about to give...

I am Hannah.  I am praying that the desires of my heart and God's plan for my life are about to come crashing together.  I am praying that in my life right now, the Divine and the Earthly are about to converge.  I'm praying for a spectacular meeting of my prayers and His plan.  For ten fingers and ten toes that remind me that the God that I serve is miraculous...

Why IVF?

Hopefully you've read the Our Journey So Far and About the Womacks sections in the tabs above for some background about our story.  It is the beginning of February...on Tuesday of this week Jonathan will turn 31 years old.  At the end of May we will be moving from the West Indies back to the USA.  And in June we will begin the process of IVF for the first time.  There are many many unknowns, yes.  But I've felt the need to answer a few questions that I know SO many of you might be asking.  Especially if this is the first time you've heard that Jonathan and I have decided to go this route.  It's not a "justification"...more just a sharing of information.  So that you can help pray for us and support us along the way.  There is nothing more valuable to us than the love and support of our friends and family.  In the coming months we will need you all more than ever.  To help encourage us when the going gets tough, to help hold us up when bad news comes or painful procedures are necessary, and to hopefully share in the unimaginable joy that will be hearing that our dreams have come true finally.  

IVF huh??  Shouldn't you try less invasive procedures first?  You guys are so young!

Well my friends, we actually *have* undergone several less invasive measures.  We have had 1 failed IUI, 2 additional natural cycles with the help of Clomid (a drug to help stimulate my ovaries to produce multiple eggs), 1 cycle with Letrozole (a less aggressive medication to stimulate my ovaries which is actually an oral form of chemotherapy for breast cancer recovery), and one round of Clomid with the intention of IUI which failed 3/4 of the way through the cycle.  I have had more blood drawn in the last 5 years than I can even remember.  Jonathan's soldiers have been evaluated and found to be more than ok.  I was misdiagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome...the blanket diagnosis for women who have irregular cycles with no other explanation).  Blood work just this past March revealed elevated Prolactin (that's the hormone your body produces when you're breastfeeding that signals your body to stop ovulating while you're caring for an infant).  That is the reason I was not ovulating without a trigger shot, so I've been taking medication which has restored my ovulation since June 2013.  Yet we are still not pregnant.  Yes, we are young...sort of.  A woman's egg count decreases and her risk factors increase exponentially after 35.  I am *only* 29, yes.  We want at least 3 children.  You do the math!  Not to mention, if it can't happen without help anyway, what does it matter what my age is?  Bottom line is that IVF was not a snap decision for us.  We have arrived at this decision after many years of trying and failing.  Many cycles of help from specialists.  Many many hours of prayer and consideration.  God *has* called us to be parents...it is our heart's desire...and right now we feel Him giving us the go ahead for IVF, and we've seen evidence of His provisions there...

Speaking of provisions...isn't IVF outrageously expensive?  You guys are in med school...how are you affording this??

I don't really like answering this question.  Or rather, I really don't like it being asked.  But the short and sweet answer is that we have been *planning* this.  And by planning I mean we have been making sacrifices as necessary to be able to sock away enough savings to be able to pay for this procedure.  So no...we aren't taking out credit cards or "going broke".  God has provided for us in unimaginable ways in the past 8 months and we are being purposeful about our money management. It's a sacrifice yes...a constant one until we write that check in June.  But one we are more than willing to make in our quest to become parents...

Have you guys considered adoption?

Yes.  Most definitely.  We have seriously considered it for a long time.  Spent many hours in prayer about it.  Asked for prayer about it.  Consulted with friends who have adopted.  We are actually watching some dear friends of ours go through the process of adopting a child here in Dominica *right now*.  We have considered whether God's plan for us to become parents was through adoption.  The hard and fast truth about it is that we don't feel the calling.  We both feel strongly that the decision to adopt really has to come from a heart for adoption.  We feel it isn't right to adopt a child because you want a baby.  You have to be called to do it.  Called to make the choice to bring a child into your home either from an otherwise bad situation, abandonment, or just the choice of birthparents.  We think adoption is beautiful.  And we *do* have a heart for orphans and impoverished children.  But if we ourselves decided to adopt it would be because we desperately want a child.  Not because we have been called to adopt.  So for us, right now today, adoption is not the right choice.  We are trying to follow the plan!  

Ok, but what if you've put all your eggs in one basket and then this doesn't work...then what?

Well...per the title of this blog we are Thinking Positive.  But we are fully aware of the fact that a round of IVF by no means guarantees us a pregnancy.  And so yes, we will have spent a huge amount of money  and invested emotionally in a procedure that failed yet again.  If that happens, we will need your prayers and your encouragement.  We will need you to hold us up.  It won't be the end of the road for us though.  Assuming we are successful in creating a number of embryos in this first round, we will freeze the ones we don't use in this first transfer.  If this cycle fails we will try again when we've been able to come up with the funds to make it happen.  There we go with those sacrifices again!  The ultimate answer to that question is that we ask for your positive thinking too...and also for your support throughout our journey...wherever the road to Baby Womack leads...

Doesn't IVF put you at risk for multiples?  Will you be the new Octo-mom??

Lord let's hope not!  But yes, multiples is a "risk" that comes along with IVF.  The doctors at OU know what they're doing.  They know their stats and they will help us make educated decisions throughout this process.  We trust their judgment and we know that they are a practice of ethical and morally upstanding doctors.  The most likely multiple situation is twins.  Anything beyond that is not a likely scenario, but yes, it is certainly an outside possibility.  Jonathan and I have discussed this facet of IVF a lot and we feel confident that if twins or triplets are in our future, then so be it.  We will continue to trust that God will continue to provide as he has thus far.  I heard a woman speak at UBC several years ago about her infertility struggles.  She said "I prayed and begged God for children for years and His answer was wait.  I shook my fists at him and asked Him why.  And then unexpectedly I had two sets of twins within 2 years of each other.  And it was then that I realized that I wouldn't be able to be a mother without fully relying on Him.  I planned and He laughed.  And now I have 4 beautiful children!"  That speech has been in the forefront of my mind ever since.  If I am to be a mother of multiples, I have confidence that my God will hold my hand through it.  However if we do end up with multiples...you *might* get called in as reinforcements my friends... ;)

Jonathan is getting ready to start a residency soon right?  Where does the whole medical school thing fit into this scenario?

Funny you should ask that.  Even within the last 10 days God has closed doors and opened others in this realm.  This was a major concern for us too.  Not so much the residency thing, but more the clinical sciences situation.  Jonathan is nearly finished with his basic sciences, but he still has 81 weeks of clinical rotations to complete in the US before graduation.  God has graciously reworked our original "plan" and made the process of IVF and pregnancy even more possible given our new schedule.  I know that's probably a fairly vague answer, so suffice to say, for now, that between May 1st and September 15th God has provided an awesome window for us to make this happen.  And beyond that we already see Him paving the way...

What can we do to help?  What do you guys need?

Right now today, we need your prayer and support.  We need your positive thinking!  We need your words of encouragement.  We want you to be involved in Project Baby Womack however you see fit.  Whatever that looks like for you.  When the day comes that we bring our sweet baby (or babies!) into this world, we will need you like crazy.  We will need your hands and feet.  We will need your compassion.  We will need your joy and excitement!  What we need from you is to join our army of support.  Wait patiently with us!  Ask us how the process is going!  We need you to help hold us up.  We want the volley of praise to be HUGE when God sees this through.  When He works his miracles and sends us our angel(s) we want you all to be a part of the roar of gratitude sent His way!  And we want to be able to tell our children that they had a multitude of people praying for their arrival.  It takes a village y'all...

In closing, if you have questions...ask!  We won't be offended.  Honestly, I'd rather you go ahead and ask instead of speculate or assume.  I've been guilty of that myself in the past.  So just ask and I'll answer.  Jonathan and I are boldly proceeding in the direction we feel God is leading us...come along with us for the ride!