Friday, August 19, 2016

We Still Win...



Here I sit. In my car with the passenger side window busted out and glass all over the passenger seat with the AC blasting and my baby asleep in the backseat.  I don't even care that I'm wasting gas sitting in a running car even though wasting gas means more money out of my pocket. I just don't care...

This afternoon, just as I got Greysen down for his afternoon nap, a neighbor of mine comes banging on my door to tell me my car has been broken into. I hadn't even been home an hour. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. Well...nothing but my morale that is...

I can't even say that I'm surprised. I wasn't surprised in the least. It's just another thing. Another thing designed to break our stride (as if we've had much of a stride in the last few months...it's more of a limp than a stride these days...). Remember when I said in my last post that everything wonderful that has happened in our lives in the last 6 1/2 months has been simultaneously punctuated by something annoying/devastating/sad/demoralizing/etc.?  Well it's true. And now with these final few months upon us, the spiritual warfare is stronger than ever...

Have you ever read Screwtape Letters?  Or This Present Darkness?  If you haven't, I would encourage you to. Both are about the simultaneous existence of good and evil. Whether or not you believe there are spiritual beings among us (angels or demons or spirits or whatever), there is no denying, at least in my life, that darkness, like a dirty moth to a flickering flame, is drawn to Light. A sort of "where there's smoke there's fire" kind of thing. Why do bad things happen to people who love the Lord?  Well my humble opinion is that evil is constantly rooting for Glory to fail. And so it pulls out all the stops to either squelch the Joy altogether or at least diminish it substantially by any means possible...

Getting accepted to medical school?  BAM. Your mom has stage 4 ovarian cancer. Getting ready to have a baby? BAM. Jonathan and Matilda get in a rollover car accident. Getting ready to graduate medical school?  BAM. Your mom dies, your confidence in your testing abilities is shot, and now your car is vandalized. Ugh!  We Womacks just can't catch a break...

However, in everything so far, we have still praised God along the way. We have 
clung to Him, we have given Him the glory, and we have refused to let any counter forces diminish our joy in the receiving of blessings. Now is no different...

But can I just say, for a moment, how freaking sick and tired I am of this push and pull nonsense?  I am just SO over it with this crap. I love my Jesus, but I let the four letter words FLY today. All with my baby on my hip. And I'm not even sorry about it!  God is stronger than this spiritual warfare. He will prevail. I know what happens in the end of our story.  I KNOW that we finish this thing out strong. And evil, if you're listening, you suck and you lose. Seems like a lot of wasted energy to fight a battle you've already lost! Come at me bruh. I dare you. I have the best spiritual armor there is!  Impenetrable. Unwavering. Indestructible. Invincible. And there is not a damn thing you can throw at me that will make me decide that Jesus is not better...

There is good and there is evil at play in our world all the time. I choose to side with the good guys. I choose joy. Even when that joy is laughter through tears while I sweep out the glass of the broken window on my hoopty car (cuz it was the only one we could afford).  I still win. We still win. We might look kind of haggard as we cross that finish line, but cross it we will. Black eyes, bloody noses, broken bones and all. And we will be whole when we do... 


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