So one of the biggest questions Jonathan and I have had to discuss and make a decision about involves how many embryos to transfer into my uterus after they are fertilized. Any good RE (reproductive endocrinologist or fertility specialist) won't transfer more than 2 at a time unless you are well past 35 and have many more contributing factors to your infertility. Even then, I'm not sure I would trust a clinic that was willing to transfer more than maybe 3 embryos at a time. THAT, my friends, is how you get an "Octomom" situation. In the womb, any egg has the potential to split into two babies. So if you're transferring 4-5 eggs, you have the potential to get as many as 10 babies out of that deal. While it's unlikely that all 5 of them would split into 2 babies, you can never be certain (hello Jon and Kate +8...). Any multiple pregnancy comes with risks. The vast majority of twin births don't make it to a full 40 weeks. And with 3 or more babies, you'd be lucky to make it to 30 weeks. Now we are talking more risk factors for the babies AND the mommy. Not to mention the costly price of a stay at the NICU...multiplied by 3 or more!
The doctors who will be handling our IVF will not transfer more than 2 eggs at a time no matter what. So 1 embryo or 2, Rachel? Well, after spending lots of time poring over this question, we have decided to go with 2. For several reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that this is our one and only shot for a long time. If it doesn't take, it will be 2-4 years before we are able to try again. We are in med school, after all, and starting September 15th most of our funds will be going toward traveling to Jonathan's clinical rotation locations and saving for the very costly process of applying to residencies. And don't forget there are quite a few costs involved with traveling to and from those interviews!
So we are putting all of our eggs (all 2 of them) into one basket and praying for a miracle here. I'm actually giving my little eggs a pep talk right now...
So in the years that Jonathan and I have walked this road of infertility and loss, I can't tell you the number of times I've been left somewhat agape at the kinds of things people ask and say in regards to pregnancy and "trying". I've wanted to write this post for a long time, so here it finally is. Don't be offended or embarrassed if you've asked me any of these yourself. I've grown a thick skin about it all! :) At this point most of them kind of make me laugh on the inside. Just take this as a little tidbit of "education" on the matter. Whether you *know* a woman is pregnant, trying to conceive, or not...it doesn't matter. Be wise in what you ask and how you ask it!
6+ Things to Never Say to Any Woman...Infertile or Not:
1) How long have you two been married? ______ <---insert your answer here. Wow! When are you guys gonna start a family?
Lord in Heaven. Frankly, this question just sucks. Because if you aren't wanting children, there's no good response. If you're trying at the moment (no matter how long you've been trying for) the answer is awkward. "Well as a matter of fact the hubs and I got weird on the couch this morning because we're currently trying...". If you're in the early stages of a pregnancy but aren't wanting to reveal it yet, what the heck could you say?? If you've been dealing with infertility, the question makes you want to cry. Either cry or be SUPER cynical. Cynical is the route I always go in my head when this question is asked. For instance, "Actually we hate children", or "We already are a family actually." But what comes out of my mouth is "Whenever God decides to let it happen!". Bottom line, just don't ask the question. 2) Are you guys trying??
This is a piggy back on question #1. If you stop and think about it, that question is asking WAY more than you should be privy to in someone's relationship. Essentially what you're asking is if the couple is having sex on a regular basis without protection. If you reword the EXACT SAME QUESTION you are saying "Hey you two, how often are you having sex and are you wearing a condom?" Surely you wouldn't be bold enough as to ask that question of someone. I have to slap myself on the wrist for this one (and maybe all of these), because I've asked it before... For shame, Rach, for shame... 3) My friend's cousin's boss had a miscarriage. I know what you're going through.
Welp...you don't really. This isn't meant to be inflammatory in any way. Neither is it meant to keep you from expressing sympathy or empathy to women who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy. What I'm saying is that for those of us who *have* experienced loss, we know there is a large part of it that is unexplainable. It can't be empathized with unless you've experienced it first hand. The better response if you have never personally experienced the loss of a pregnancy? Something along the lines of "I know I can't come close to understanding what you're going through, but I'm willing to listen if you need an ear", or "You've been on my mind and heart lately". A sweet friend at church said the latter to me one Sunday morning *months* after our loss and she probably never knew how much that meant to me. She said so much without saying much at all... 4) Just relax and stop trying so hard and I bet it will happen for you guys.
No no no and again I say NO! Ok, so maybe this little anecdote has worked on *some*. But let me tell you, after 5 years of infertility struggles, when I hear this statement all I hear is "You probably aren't having good enough sex." I already think it's probably something *I'm* doing to hinder this from happening. I definitely don't need help in that department! But the "lack of relaxation" factor kind of went out the window about 40 months ago. Clearly it is something more than just stressed out eggs or sperm with performance anxiety. Even if this tactic seemingly worked for you and your pregnancy, you probably *still* shouldn't say it to a woman who is distressed about her lack of success thus far... 5) You can babysit anytime you want! *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
This does NOT help. Ever. Reworded in the mind of a woman who desperately wants children but is unable to have them is this: "I have kids already and you don't. Come borrow mine. It will make you feel better. My kids are awesome." While the thought is nice, it does not help. That's not to say that I don't love your children and wouldn't enjoy spending time with them. But it's not a replacement for my own children. Nor is it funny as a "tongue in cheek" type deal... 5B) Are you *sure* you want one of these? Kids aren't all they're cracked up to be...
I know this is cynical and that you don't really mean it. But it sucks. It's weird. I've told people in response to this statement "Well I would have 8 if I could have 1." And that is the God's honest truth. I'd take a million dirty diapers and temper tantrums and crayoned walls and snotty noses over NO BABY AT ALL. So yes, actually. I am sure that I'm sure that I'm sure that I "want one of those". And no I do not want to "take yours off your hands". 6) "THE ULTIMATE NO NO!" What if you're just not meant to have kids?
Is this supposed to be some sort of "harsh reality" type tactic to yank my head out of the clouds? Whether you know it or not, or whether I'm willing to admit it or not, those thoughts cross my mind frequently. And you just vocalized my worst nightmare. What if all this pain and suffering and longing is just a farce and this is something not meant to be mine anyway? Oh no no no no no. This is no. Might I arrive at this conclusion eventually? Maybe. Let's hope not. Either way will it be you who helps me arrive at said conclusion? Most definitely not... 5 Things That You Could Say Instead 1) I was/am so sorry to hear about your loss.
It's so nice to hear someone acknowledge the loss of your child in miscarriage. Because it really is a loss of a child. No I never gave birth to him or held him, but he is beyond a shadow of a doubt a "real baby". And the loss of our child was devastating. Thank you you for recognizing the life of my baby. For a minute I felt like a mommy... 2) *I* went through/am going through exactly what you're going through. We had a miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy/still born/chemical pregnancy/blighted ovum/infertility/etc. too.
LADIES!! If you encounter someone who has experienced loss similar to yours SPEAK UP!! Infertility and pregnancy loss is such a silent struggle and it shouldn't be. Be bold in sharing your story but be even bolder about sharing your story with those that need the solidarity the most! It's a crappy club to be in, but it's even crappier when you feel like you're the only one in it. Band together and hold each other up. It was the women who came out of the woodwork to empathize with me in regards to their losses that helped me learn to deal with the hand I'd been dealt...
3) You guys are going to have some beautiful babies one day.
Thanks! Man I LOVE this statement! It doesn't speak to the hopelessness that many women in this boat feel. It DOES, however, speak to the hope that one day those "beautiful babies" will be a reality! And I LOVE speculating with people about what my babies will look like. Will they be dark headed or bald or have that amazing Womack red hair? Will they have blue eyes or brown eyes? Will they be super smart or super athletic or both?? For a minute you took me out of hopelessness and brought me into hopefulness... 4) This *is* going to happen for you guys!
Yes! I really needed you to say that. A brief moment happened there where I forgot my fears about losing another child. I forgot my pain in losing the one(s) I've lost. And I smiled on the inside because I really needed your vote of confidence. Because most days I can't muster it for myself... 5) You are in my thoughts and on my heart.
You could pair this with a "Please let me know if you need anything" if you're feeling inclined to deliver on that request. But the first sentence is more than enough. You don't even have to expand on it. You don't have to say the word miscarriage, or loss, or baby, or infertility, or anything. Because I know what you're referring to. And I know you aren't trying to pry. This statement means so very much to women going through this. Just the reminder that someone knows you're in pain or you're struggling is soothing... Again, I hope this doesn't upset you. It's not meant that way. I've been on both sides of this fence. I've been on the "My friend lost her baby and I have no idea what to say" side, and I've been on the "I've been through this and I know what you're going through" side. I hope this helps you to *not* avoid women you know are struggling with loss or infertility because you don't know what to say. I hope it also helps you avoid saying the things that you shouldn't. To any woman. But to lighten the mood a little, I thought I would share a little story about my dad and how he learned never to ask "the wrong questions":
Daddy (at a garage sale trying to strike up a conversation with the woman who owns the home): Hi! How are you this beautiful Saturday?
Homeowner: Doing well! How bout yourself?
Daddy: Doing fine. You guys have quite a bit you're getting rid of. Are you moving?
Homeowner: No. Just trying to get rid of some stuff!
Daddy: You must have a ton of baby stuff in the house then. I can't believe you're getting rid of so much baby clothing when you've got one on the way!
Homeowner: *blink...blink, blink* Sir I'm not pregnant.
Daddy (awkwardly trying to extract his foot from his mouth): Oh, well then I'm sure your baby is beautiful!
Homeowner: My children are 18 and 22 sir.
Daddy: *blink...blink, blink* Ok well you have a good day then. <---power walks to car
As I've stated about a million times on this blog, I cannot stress enough the importance of solidarity among women dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss. One thing that helped me through our loss and has continued to help us through our dealings with infertility are all the women and couples going through the same thing...eager and bold enough to share their stories and comfort us with words of wisdom and hope. I've gotten countless emails, Facebook messages, texts, and comments from people everywhere speaking up about their own journeys. People wanting to join hands and hearts as we walk this difficult road in hopes of getting our very very happy endings (or beginnings!) one day soon. So, my fellow "Sisters in Waiting"...I have some words for you today. I hope they make your heart happy!
You yourself did nothing wrong. You are not infertile because you ate the wrong things, didn't exercise enough, or are living in the wrong place. You did not lose your baby because you are unhealthy or your body is "inhospitable". YOU are enough. And you are NOT defective...
Don't feel alone when you want to punch someone or something. It happens to the best of us. Anger is a natural human emotion and one we cannot discredit as a part of this journey. Invest in a good firm pillow and take your frustrations out there. And then call me...I'll be cynical with you until you can laugh about it again...
This is NOT a punishment. You are NOT being punished. This is NOT God's way of making you pay for your past sins. You are PERFECT in His eyes...
It's ok to feel jealousy sometimes too. It's normal to see a pregnant woman or a pregnancy announcement and feel that pang of jealousy. But don't let it consume you. Identify it as a longing of your heart and remember that one day YOU will be the one announcing that pregnancy or adoption!
Dream big! Pick out those baby names, pin those nursery ideas, bookmark those great parenting articles. Take advantage of the fact that you have such a ridiculously long time to plan for your babies. The longer you train for the event, the better you'll be when it's your time to step up to the mommy plate!
Find a fellow Sister in Waiting and share your story with her. Ask her to share hers. Cry together, laugh together, gripe together, pray together. It's more healing than you can imagine...
Give people grace when they don't understand what you're going through. When they ask questions that hurt, show them mercy...don't say what you're thinking in your head! Be graceful and kind even when it's hard. Because in the end it really does make you better...
Write it down. Either privately or publicly (I've done both). It's healing and liberating!
Don't let people feel sorry for you...
Make a "secret" Pinterest board to pin all your baby hopes onto. It keeps people from speculating and asking questions when they see you pinning baby stuff. But it fills that void for a minute to spend time thinking about that future that you want so badly without having to field the "Is there a baby on the way??" question we love so much...
Do research and read up. It's ok to know all there is to know about conception and hormones and birth and parenting. It doesn't make you pathetic. It makes you intelligent...
And last but not least, BELIEVE HIM. He put this desire on your heart. HE put it there. And He's still in the business of miracles. He said that we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts. He said you can move mountains with faith as small as a mustard seed. Believe Him when He says he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you...to give you a Hope and a Future. He's got big plans for you. Keep believing that He will come through for you. And when the Heavenly clashes with our earthly hearts' desires there will be unimaginable joy and peace and understanding. And it will be vastly more than we ever hoped or imagined it would be!
Keep on keepin' on. Don't give up. There WILL be joy in the morning!
So per the name of this blog, I've been trying really hard to make sure that my posts are POSITIVE. It helps my psyche as well to be able to articulate what inspires me to keep on keepin' on. But I have to be honest with you. Being positive...being upbeat all the time is difficult. It's a REALLY tough thing to do. Especially when sometimes my emotions kind of give me whiplash...
For instance, this past weekend we got incredibly good news about our financial piece. We also got confirmation that not only is June 16th our official "first appointment" at OU Infertility, but we also are in with the "head honcho". The doctor who's been at this for 17 years and has a 53% success rate. That's HUGE in the infertility world. That means more than half of the women he works with end up pregnant some way some how. That's exciting and also comforting. We feel like we are in good hands...
And then as the days creep by, anxiety starts to work its way in. Here are the things that float through my mind:
"Man, *what if* this whole thing is a total wash and we don't end up getting pregnant? We will have spent all this money, invested so much emotional and physical energy into this process, and still be at square one..."
"What if Dr. Hansen orders a laproscopy and they find some sort of tumor or major problem? And then our seemingly 'perfect' timeline is shot to hell because they will either have to do major surgery or turn us away from IVF completely. Then what?"
"What if we *do* get pregnant and then have another miscarriage. I'm not sure I could emotionally navigate that..."
"What if we never make it to the transfer stage because my eggs are crap and none of them are viable after retrieval?"
"What if we never find a solution to this?"
So there ya go...a little slice of my insides on the days that I'm feeling a little less than confident. It's days like those, inevitably, that a friend offers a word of encouragement even though they didn't know that's what I had been thinking. A family member sends me a sweet text out of nowhere. My husband decides to do something special for me just because he felt like it...
And it's then that I'm reminded to BREATHE. Just breathe in and out and see the glass half full. See those petri dishes full of fertilized eggs. See those TWO pink lines. See that beautiful sonography heartbeat. See that perfect pregnancy announcement. See that labor and delivery room. See that beautifully perfect tiny little face staring back at me. See Jonathan kissing the top of his sweet new baby's head. See our families beaming with pride over the newest addition to the family. See those tiny socks and onesies and pacifiers and bottles. See those sweet tiny fingers wrapped around mine...
So I have about 6 posts that are already written and slated to be published, but tonight I found myself inspired to write about hope. Tonight my heart was moved by the hurting and longing hearts of some of my dear friends here in Dominica and I realized something about where I am in my journey...
Many many moons ago at a summer church camp, we did a "Stations of the Cross" walk. We started at the top of this big hill and were asked to pick up a rock. No parameters on this request. Just pick up any rock. I picked up a medium sized one, some people were kind of tongue in cheek and picked up teeny little pebbles, and my friend Mike picked up a stinkin' boulder. What they didn't tell us was that we would have to carry that rock throughout the walk. For me, it was no problem. For those people who picked up the teeny pebbles, it was even easier. For my friend Mike, by the time he got down to the river where we were asked to lay our rocks down, he was literally having to carry the darn thing on his back. All throughout the walk he was laboring over this thing. Situating it this way and that...trying to find a comfortable position to carry it in...shifting it's enormous weight in his arms. When we were asked to lay our rocks down, I tossed mine at the foot of the wooden cross and turned to help a very tired Mike lay his down. We debriefed after the experience and one of the "parallels" that I arrived at in that moment really hit home for me. It's a concept that has stuck with me ever since...
You see, my "burden" in that moment was small. It was manageable. I could so very easily lay it down with minimal effort. But if *I* had had a giant boulder to have to maneuver, I would never have been able to help Mike lay his burden down. At that point in my life I had a manageable burden...and I could help literally shoulder the weight with Mike...
In the past 5 years I have wondered so many many times *why* we had to go through this. What was this season of wait/weight all about? What was there to gain from this experience? Why all the hurt and pain and struggle? Well my friends, because while my burden was heavy, I was being strengthened. I was having to (am still having to) rely on others to help me lay my burdens down. I've needed shoulders to cry on. I've needed sounding boards to rant to. I've needed words of encouragement. I've needed help shouldering all this hurt...all these questions. And my cup overflows when I think of how many people have taken part in helping me lay my massive boulder down at the cross...
Last Thursday we bought our last plane tickets to leave Dominica (we're leaving in May). This weekend some sweet words were shared between myself and a somewhat "estranged" friend...God has healed that fractured relationship and my heart is full of joy because of that. Just yesterday we got word that one of our major potential road blocks to this whole IVF process has been "demolished". God is good y'all...ALL THE TIME! So for right now...today...my burden is so very light. And God allowed that to happen in just the right time. Because tonight God needed my heart to bear part of the burdens for my sweet friends. He needed me to be able to pray and offer words of unadulterated encouragement to them...he needed part of my heart to hurt for them...
I have been in seasons where my burden was too heavy to cast off and help another. Even just last week I was feeling pretty burdened by all of this. I was letting my fears of failure cloud my excitement for what might be. I was letting my anxiety about what could go wrong get in the way of grasping that wellspring of Hope. And I was feeling pretty beat down. This weekend I got refilled with that Hope. And I'm here to tell you, even though Jonathan and I are *still* not on the other side of this battle of infertility, that I PROMISE THERE IS HOPE!
For whatever you're going through. There is Hope for a better future for you and your family. There is Hope for a better job if you're looking for one..a better situation. There is Hope. I promise it's there. I can't tell you how long you'll have to wait for that open door. For that "yes". For that positive. I don't know how many more heartaches you'll have to endure before you get there. But I *do* know that if your burden is like a giant boulder right now... If you're shifting it's weight...trying to find a way to carry it...slinging it onto your own shoulders just to get a second of relief... If your burden is too heavy to carry by yourself, let someone help you lay it down at the cross. Let someone else help you grab hold of that Wellspring. And believe me when I tell you that there is HOPE for this in your life...
"God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions...wait for Hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If He works severely, He also worlds tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard...in throwing roadblocks in the way..." -- Lamentations 3:25-33 (MSG)
Big question here. And one I can't really answer definitively as we are still months away from beginning the process. But in an attempt to sort of "let you in" on what we foresee the steps being, let me shed some light on what a round of IVF might be like for this "first cycle" couple...
1st Appointment - Fortunately for us, the doctors we are working with already have full access to our past medical history. Both infertility-wise and otherwise. They will have a preliminary knowledge of what they're "up against" before we ever step foot in their office. This is the appointment where we will talk to them about our hopes and intentions, discuss options, ask questions, etc. We've already got a pretty extensive list of questions to ask! We will also meet with people in the financial department of OU Infertility to talk with them about what our insurance may or may not cover. We will most likely be sent for blood work at this appointment. Then I will be scheduled to have some or all of the following procedures within the following 2-4 weeks:
HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) - This is a procedure that I've had done before. They inject dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes to see if your tubes are blocked and/or if there is any scar tissue or other damage. This procedure also helps the doctors note the size, shape, and placement of your uterus. When I had one done in November of 2010, everything was seemingly normal. Barring any unforeseen complications that have arisen in the last 3 1/2 years, I'm assuming this test will once again be normal.
Hysteroscopy and/or Laparoscopy - This is where they put a tiny little camera right into my uterus or abdomen to check for fibroids, endometriosis, blocked tubes, and/or other abnormalities. Usually if they see something during this exam they go right ahead and remove the fibroids or scar tissue that might be blocking the tubes or otherwise hindering a successful conception/pregnancy. I'm not gonna lie...it's *this* procedure that scares me some. Because it's the procedure that could uncover things that could prevent both IVF *and* our chances of ever conceiving. Yep...I get anxiety just thinking about it...
Semen Analysis - Just what it sounds like. Jonathan gives a sample, they put the little guys under a microscope, they give them a score. Simple as that. This is another test we've had done before and should return normal again.
Sonogram - To check my endometrium (the lining of my uterus) and my ovaries for cysts or abnormalities. I'm a pro at this procedure since I've had more of them than I can even remember. Thankfully, unless something drastic has happened since March 2013, this reading should be normal.
Mock Transfer - This is new to me, but I think it's pretty cool (even if the procedure itself harkens to a bad experience I had in March 2013 with an endometrial biopsy...eesh...). Basically the doctor is going to perform the IVF transfer procedure right up until the point of actually transferring the fertilized eggs into my uterus. Why? Because every woman is different and they have to make sure they are using the right size and length of catheter. Also they want to make sure they are able to place the fertilized eggs in the most optimal place in my uterus for implantation. This procedure is done while the doctor looks at an ultrasound image to make sure everything is just perfect for when it's time to transfer those Womack Embabies for real...
Hormone Testing - There are a few tests that have never been run on me during fertility treatments. Why? I have no idea. There's a possibility, though, that the OU doctors might want a clear(er) picture of my hormone levels throughout a natural cycle. We will be seeing them right in the middle of a natural cycle, so they may want to see how my body is producing estrogen, progesterone, FSH (follicular stimulation hormone...the hormone that tells your body to produce eggs), LH (lutenizing hormone...the hormone that tells your ovaries to release the egg(s)), etc. These are just simple blood tests, but some have to be checked on precise days in your cycle. We will be seeing them on or around Day 18 of my natural cycle, so who knows where these evaluations may or may not fit in...
Then starts the fun part (please read the sarcasm there) ;). We have no idea what the exact timeline for this will be (we are hoping a transfer date sometime between August 1st and September 10th will be possible), but here are the steps we will likely be taking between the evaluation stage and the actual transfer:
Step 1 - 2 weeks of birth control. Ew. I'm not a fan. But hopefully it will be 2 weeks of yuck in exchange for years of awesome, so I'll do it. There's a chance I may not have to do this since I've got a normal cycle going now, but we also don't want to take any unnecessary chances if we don't have to.
Step 2 - Sometime around the middle of the cycle I will begin taking Lupron injections daily which will suppress my natural ovulation.
Step 3 - "Stimming". This is a term used in the IVF world for stimulating your ovaries to produce lots of eggs. At the start of my next "cycle" I will take daily injections to make my ovaries mass produce. I will take these injections for anywhere from 7-10 days.
Step 4 - Ovidrel (which I've taken before). This is an injectable drug that stimulates your eggs to mature before "release". In our case, the doc will be going in to get those mature eggs before my body releases them naturally.
Step 5 - Retrieval. This is done under general anesthesia like an outpatient surgery. This is when they will use a needle through a speculum to poke through the walls of my lady parts and retrieve all my tiny little mature eggs. Then those little eggs go straight to a petri dish and into an incubator to await their "knights in shining armor". During retrieval they will take as many eggs as they see and are able to get to. So it can be anywhere from around 15 all the way to 35+.
Step 6 - Jonathan gives the docs a "sample" and his soldiers are then deployed into that fateful petri dish with "marching orders" to "attack the hill". We will get daily phone calls about how many eggs were fertilized and how our embabies are growing for the next 3-5 days.
Step 7 - On Day 3 or 5 after retrieval and fertilization our embryos will be "graded" (exactly like they grade chicken eggs actually...AA, AB, BB, etc.). The highest graded embryos are slated for transfer and/or cryogenic freezing. On Day 5 I will go into the office and they will put our Womack Embabies (1 or 2...hopefully we have 2 good ones) into my uterus in the same way that they did the mock transfer in the beginning. This is done without anesthesia but I will likely be given something to relax me (i.e. Valium or the like) so that I don't get too tense and cause my uterus to contract which could hinder our chances of a good transfer and hopefully implantation.
Step 8 - 2WW (Two Week Wait). This is only about 9 days after the transfer happens rather than 2 full weeks, but I'm told this feels like an eternity. It is during these 9 days that we will need some SERIOUS distractions and encouragement. Say prayers for me, yes, but mostly Jonathan during this time. Because I will likely be a basket case...
Step 9 - Beta pregnancy test. I can take a home pregnancy test if I want to (who am I kidding?? I will probably take several...), but no matter what I will go in 9-11 DPT (days past transfer) and they will draw blood to check my hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin...the pregnancy hormone) levels. If they are rising, I am pregnant!
Step 10 - I will continue working with the OU Infertility docs until around week 8 when a heartbeat (or heartbeats!) are confirmed via ultrasound. I will then be released to my regular Ob/Gyn for the remainder of the pregnancy.
Whew! Did you follow all that?? Me neither. :) It's pretty confusing and overwhelming. Thankfully we have some pretty wonderful people in our lives that are A) Praying for peace for us, and/or B) Helping to talk us through this process because they've "been there done that". It will never cease to blow my mind how God has orchestrated this whole endeavor. He made our paths cross with people 10+ years ago, and then now today they are people helping us along this bumpy road to parenthood...
We are so blessed and quite anxious to get this party started man!
If you'd like some video footage about the process of IVF from "the lab"'s perspective, I found this video which is actually pretty incredible. I think it's amazing even if it wasn't done in petri dishes in a lab. How cool is it that these microscopic cells grow into humans??? Mind blown y'all...
First I have to start by showing my appreciation for all the love and support that has been poured out for Jonathan and me in response to this blog. Wow! We are really fortunate to have such wonderful loving people in our lives and I can't express to you how much it means to me to hear your words of encouragement. From people who are right here "in the trenches" with us to people who we haven't seen in years to those we have never met...our cup overflows y'all! A quote from one of our dear supporters and a fellow "sister in waiting" said "I think God prompting you to share your story is His way of giving this struggle a purpose". Wow! Words seemingly right from His mouth actually. In all the years of struggle and heartache and loss, if I'm able to give someone else hope or at the very least a listening ear and solidarity, then it was not all in vain. Praise God...He is good ALL the time!
This post is somewhat of a "thinking out loud" post as someone graciously posed a question to us here on the blog. The question was this:
"Rachel, I just wondered about what you might do with the rest of the embryos if any go unused. I had heard of Christians recently adopting out their unused frozen embryos rather than allowing them to be simply "discarded." You might end up using all of them, but I think as Christians it's an important question as we consider these little creations of the Father."
This question was asked by someone who I highly respect and admire. And I'm SO glad she asked it! It is actually a question I have preliminarily considered. In fleeting moments I've thought about what exactly we will do with any embryos that we don't use in an attempt to achieve pregnancy for ourselves. I say fleeting, only because it's a bit hard for me to look past the actual transfer itself. There's so much to be done first...so much that could go wrong potentially...and I've heard it said that "getting to the transfer stage is an achievement in itself". But I definitely *DO* believe that life begins at conception. If you've not read my post The Morning I Knew..., then you should go read it. Because that post will help you understand my stance on the matter. The minute that sperm meets egg it's a life. And a beautiful one. This is not going to turn into a pro-life vs. pro-choice conversation though. The question is simply, "If the embryos that are viable are lives, what happens to the tiny growing babies that don't get transferred?"
This is of course assuming we will have embryos to freeze. Let's not forget that so many many women don't make it to the embryo stage at all...much less have more embryos than what can be transferred in one treatment. We are hoping and praying for our story to be different, but that is yet another reason it's difficult for me to start considering this question. There is, after all, a chance we could never even make it to this stage. But in the interest of having clear plan for all circumstances...here are the options that doctors/clinics give you:
1) Use all your embryos and have a bigger family than you had "planned"
2) Thaw the embryos and discard them
3) Donate the embryos to science for research
4) Put them up for "adoption" for couples in need
Ok, so put yourself in my shoes. Is there an option that sticks out to you? Is there an option that makes you go "Yeah no way!"? Is there one that you're totally sold on? If you can make that decision in a split second, I commend you! For me, #2 is my absolute NO. Those are my babies and they are not "bio-waste"...
And then there's #1...which for me is the one that "sticks out". But then again, who knows how many "embabies" we will be successful in creating? Because #1 sounds fine if we've got like 4-6 embryos or less. Then you're talking a max of 4-6 kids and that's if every single transfer works. While that's a crazy big number, it's not completely unfathomable. But what if we end up with something in the tens or teens? Oh no. I love kids and I want a big family...but I am NOT Michelle Duggar!
So then there's #3. Controversial to say the least. While I see the merit here, I'm not sure it's for me necessarily. The thought of my babies being "lab rats" is a little unnerving. But the thought of them going on to help cure Parkinsons or cancer or something equally important seems valiant and purposeful. I go back and forth on that option...
And then #4. After some thought, this sounds like a beautiful option. I wouldn't be in the market to "sell" my embryos. Sounds a bit like embryo trafficking! But I think it would be a cool thing to be able to give someone else...especially in light of the struggles we have had. To be able to come full circle and not only be blessed with our own miracles, but to help make that happen for someone else. Cool! The reservation I have is the whole "running into my biological child on the street" kind of thing. There are "closed" and "open" embryo adoption options. I think for us, if we go this route, we would want it to be a closed adoption. There is also the cost of cryogenic storage which can range anywhere from $500/yr. to $2000/yr. We would basically be storing our embabies indefinitely until someone came along to adopt them. I'm not sure where I stand on the ethical implications of "indefinite storage". There's something, and I can't put my finger on it, that doesn't really sit well with me on this. Just a little sliver of something that I need to just pray about and ask God to shed some light on.
So if I had to choose right now today, what would I choose? For me, feet to the fire, it would be #1. Let's just do this. If God breathed life into those cells, then put em' in me and let's see what happens. But that's not my hard and fast answer. For now I think the answer is that the matter needs a lot more prayer and consideration on our part.
Folks, let me tell ya. Infertility and fertility treatments and unbalanced hormones have done a number on my 29 year old body. My unbalanced hormones have done a number on my poor 31 year old husband too, bless his little pea pickin' heart. If you are one of the millions who's hormone levels are normal and you are able to handle fluctuations or synthetic hormones like a champ, count your blessings. Mine has been a different story...
I went on birth control (NuvaRing) starting in March 2007. Three months before Jonathan and I got married on June 2nd. If you look at my studio bridal portraits (taken in January before we married), you see one Rachel. If you look at our wedding pictures you see a similarly sized Rachel who's breasts have grown to twice their size. If you look at pictures of me from the 4th of July in that same year (32 days after our wedding), you might not even recognize me. See for yourself...
Here's my bridal portrait without retouching. My shoulders are thin, my neck is slender, the top of my dress fits like a dream...
One of the pictures from my wedding. My waist has stayed about the same, but my boobs are now two times bigger and my face is noticeably rounder...
And then there are these lovely pictures. I realize I am sans makeup and not in a gorgeous wedding gown, but geez. When these pictures came out I was shocked. 32 days after my wedding, I was 10-15 pounds heavier. And it got worse from there. By December I had gained a full 33 pounds since the start of the year. 33 pounds!!! Needless to say I stopped the birth control after the start of the next year...
Thankfully in the last 2 years I've been able to lose nearly all of those 33 pounds. 5-7 of them are still hanging out in my midsection, but it took some SERIOUS work and the better part of 2 years to get it off...
But weight gain is not the only thing I deal with when it comes to unbalanced hormones. During our fertility treatments, I went bonkers (I KNOW Jonathan is looking forward to going through *that* again this summer!). I am prone to some pretty irrational mood swings. Lately I've also developed some weird hormonal symptoms involved with ovulation (since I'm finally ovulating regularly for possibly the first time in my life...). I get horrible lower back pain and mood swings when the estrogen in my system changes (which it does around ovulation). I am really irritable and easily saddened. And my poor ovaries (maybe this is because they are awake and working for the first time in a long time!) ache. Makes my hips really sore.
Not to mention, taking this Cabergoline "scrambles my brains". I take one quarter of a milligram of medication once a week. Every Monday. And it makes me feel slightly dizzy, I have trouble when I go from a crouching or kneeling position into a standing position. Sometimes I feel like I might pass out when that happens. When I say it scrambles my brains, I mean for instance that sometimes I will be engaged in a conversation with someone and I will all of a sudden not be able to follow the conversation. I have a hard time recalling names (which gets interesting on Mondays in Kindergarten!) sometimes. All these symptoms reduce in severity throughout the week, which is nice, but it's a price I have to pay. Ovulating regularly increases our chances of conceiving naturally (which we are still hoping might happen anyway...wouldn't that be glorious??!) so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...
I'm willing to pay all those prices and even more if it means I get to be a mommy. A dear sweet friend of my SIL Nicole has been SO supportive of us. Nicole and I both have suffered miscarriages. Nicole has actually suffered two. How she survived emotionally, I can only attribute to the grace and power of God. Her strength is inspiring to me! But sweet Emma Claire made this statement:
"I'm praying that God would be moving and forming and "tinkering" in just the most perfect of ways... To prepare for the most perfectly perfect miracles in each of you. Miracles that you will love now-even more than had they come with ease. Miracles that will do big things for our big God. Miracles that we KNOW will come in His most perfect timing. Miracles that we're thanking and praising God for in advance... Because they're coming."
Which reminded me on this Monday morning that having to go through what I'm going through to become a mommy, really is going to make me appreciate my miracles more than I would have. I didn't want to believe that at first. With the loss of our first pregnancy (which we achieved in our first month of "trying") I cynically asked God why He thought I wouldn't appreciate my baby enough to let him stay with me here on earth. It's not that I wouldn't have appreciated him then. I totally would have...I did and I do. But it's true that after all of this, the implications for me are different. The impact on my heart and on my life will be much bigger...
Sometimes just envisioning that positive pregnancy test gives me an adrenaline rush. Makes my heart race. Gives me butterflies. I think I might need to be resuscitated on the day that that happens, because I seriously might black out! So many years of trying and failing, so many many tears, so much pain, so many vials of blood drawn, shots administered, ultrasounds performed. So many hours pinning baby things to my Pinterest boards. So many nights drifting off to sleep envisioning my sweet babies in my arms...
When they get here it will be glorious. Breathtaking in fact. But in the meantime...hormones SUCK..
For me it's been comforting through these years of infertility and loss to read about women who have struggled through the same thing. It's been empowering and calming to know that I'm not the only one who has walked or is walking this road. It's a daily struggle. One of the things I like to do when I'm feeling particularly "left out" of the mommy club (and it IS a club...one I desperately want to be a part of...) is to read about women in the Bible who suffered in this way. I search out the same stories and read them over and over.
The story of Samson's mother who's womb was closed and then she received a prophesy that she would indeed conceive a child...a son who would be blessed by God and she was not to let a razor touch his head...
The story of Elizabeth who was older and had been barren her whole life. She and her husband prayed and begged God to open her womb, and then God sent an angel to Elizabeth's husband Zechariah to tell him that Elizabeth would bear a son and they were to name him John. John was to pave the way for the coming of Jesus...
The story of Sarai who was REALLY old and tried every which way to give Abraham children. And was of course floored when God revealed his plan even in her old age and Isaac was conceived. He accomplished the seemingly impossible. She was so shocked she laughed out loud...
The story of Pharoah's daughter who eventually went on to be the adoptive mother of Moses. She wanted a child and God answered that prayer in an unimaginable way when a baby literally floated right up to her in a basket. A heavenly gift...
And...
The story of Hannah. Which is my favorite. And interestingly enough it was the topic du jour for inLightin (a children's ministry I'm involved with here in Dominica). While I sat with two or three precious babies in my lap during the last two Friday's sessions, I couldn't help but smile at God's timing and His reassurance through scripture...
Hannah BEGGED God to give her a child. Begged Him to open her womb. She knelt, she wept, she wailed. She promised that if God would grant her this request she would raise her child up in the Lord. She would "give him back" so to speak. Her prayers were so fervent that God granted her request and gave her a son, Samuel. Who was a pivotal character in the Bible and indeed did live his life as an offering to the Lord.
Here's my take:
1) Don't get it twisted. God didn't *finally* give Hannah a son because she prayed for him "correctly". He did not grant her request because He "felt sorry for her". No, Hannah had arrived at the place in her life where she knew the only thing she could rely on in her life's most trying hour was her God. And I think that this was to be her time all along. She felt that something was about to give..something was about to change in her life. And she desperately wanted that change to be a child in her womb. This was a time when God's desires and Hannah's desires were one in the same. The worldly and the divine converged and then Samuel was conceived...
2) It was probably not an easy thing to say that she would give her son back to God. In those days that meant he would live in the temple and live the life of a priest. It was not a statement to be taken lightly. But Hannah arrived at the truth that her conceiving a child was fully a "God thing" and she was humbled by this realization. No matter what, her baby belonged to God. She was simply the vessel he arrived in. She was the person God had chosen to raise one of His creations. And she could do nothing but be obedient to Him...
I AM HANNAH...
I can't tell you the number of times I have knelt (literally) before God and begged him for a baby. Too many times I have cried to the point of migraines and swollen eyelids asking Him...pleading with Him to "open my womb". I've shaken my fists at Him. Wondered "why He gave her a baby and left me hanging". I've yelled full voice at Him. I've questioned His judgement. I've even questioned His existence. That's a hard thing to come out and say. But I have. God, if you're there, if you exist and you love me, then why do my insides feel like they're being ripped out and scorched because of something YOU can change?? I've asked those questions...
Why then do I *still* cling to my God even after years of disappointment, a tragic loss, and frequent bouts of hopelessness? Why have I not written Him off and decided that He doesn't exist and/or I shouldn't bother continuing to put my faith in His plan?
Because I know that I know that I know that He is faithful. He is EVERYTHING He's promised. I have seen full evidence of His existence in my life. I've seen Him miraculously heal. I've seen Him miraculously protect. I've felt His presence. I've heard His voice. I've seen His heart. I KNOW He exists. And I simply *have* to keep clinging to His promise that He won't leave me or forsake me. I have to keep believing that I will find Him when I seek Him with all of my heart. I have to continue to hear Him when he says He will grant me the desires of my heart, of *our* hearts, when we take delight in Him. I have to understand and accept that He is the ultimate parent. He's making the hard decisions. His heart is breaking to see me cry...to hear me weep. But He knows the plan...he sees the finish line...and He knows there's a beautiful story unfolding. He won't compromise what He knows is our great adventure to come, just to keep me from crying. He'll comfort me along the way and *still* finish what He started in me.
He knows the plan. He's giving me little glimpses of it as we walk this road. He is moving. Right now. He is moving in our lives and Jonathan and I are feeling His presence and His power right now in a real way. We know something is about to give...
I am Hannah. I am praying that the desires of my heart and God's plan for my life are about to come crashing together. I am praying that in my life right now, the Divine and the Earthly are about to converge. I'm praying for a spectacular meeting of my prayers and His plan. For ten fingers and ten toes that remind me that the God that I serve is miraculous...
There is so much to write...so many stories to tell and questions to answer and contemplate. *This* story is one of my favorites though...
So there's a part of our story of loss that I haven't shared with many. It's at once painful and also exciting and joyful. I spoke of the evening that Jonathan and I returned to the ER with first trimester bleeding. But I *didn't* tell you about that morning...
Remember I told you that I had gone to the ER earlier that week. I was sent home and told there was either nothing or everything to worry about. Every morning after that I would drive to work with my hand on my belly. I would talk to my little tiny baby. "Ok baby. Just hang in there. It's just me and you for a minute. We can do this. I already love you." His presence in my body consumed my thoughts...
But I already had that mother's intuition. I already knew something wasn't right. I felt like he wasn't safe in there. Like something was off. It was a nagging feeling. Like nothing I can describe. Intuition is the best word I can come up with. The morning of September 11th, 2009 I had what I can only describe as a divine dream...
I heard a voice in my ear as plain as day in those moments between sleeping and waking. The voice said in a calm and comforting voice, "Rachel it's time for me to take him now." And I woke up gasping and clutching at my belly. Trying to push something unseen away from the child inside of me. My heart was racing. And then that night my worst fears were realized. But somehow I knew it was coming. I remember calmly coming out of the restroom and telling Jonathan flatly, "I'm going to lose this baby tonight." I knew he was already gone. If you have ever experienced the loss of a pregnancy you probably know exactly what that feels like. You know before anyone else does that something isn't right. You know...
The night of September 11th came and went. I was discharged the next morning in a daze. I threw up a few times on the ride home. Jonathan got me inside and into bed. Then he ran out and got me the only two types of food that sounded good to me, watermelon and waffle fries, to see if I could keep *something* down. I was still in a daze. I did, thankfully, have quite a restful sleep that night. And I had such a glorious dream. A dream that returns to me every so often...
You see my grandfather (who I called Daddy Ronchal) passed away when I was in 8th grade unexpectedly. He was such a happy person. My mother tells the story of when he and my grandmother first laid eyes on me. The two of them stood in the doorway of my nursery and held each other and cried. He used to smoosh my cheeks together and say "Soooo sweet!" He loved me and my sister so dearly. I often regret that I have missed out on sharing so many milestones in my life with him. But I know he would have been ecstatic to meet his first great grandchild...
Jonathan's grandmother (who he called Grandmommy) passed away when he was 18. She was so special to him. She used to tell what Jonathan describes as "epic bedtime tales" that she would make up on the fly about his Horatio the Hedgehog stuffed animal. She was quite an impactful woman. Her influence is still felt to this day. His Granddaddy has told Jonathan that she was the most perfect woman he's ever known. *She* would have been head over heels to meet her first great grandchild...
So this beautiful dream...
I am walking through the doors of a house I've never been in but it seems oddly familiar. I hear laughing and giggling and cooing. I step into what looks like a parlor. And in a rocking chair I see Jonathan's Grandmommy sitting and holding my sweet baby boy in her arms. She's tickling him and kissing his little forehead. My Daddy Ronchal is standing behind that rocking chair just smiling at Aamon and laughing and smooshing his chubby little cheeks and saying "Soooo sweet!". They are three of the happiest people I've ever seen. Then all three of them turn and look at me. Grandmommy and Daddy Ronchal are just so proud. The looks on their faces are kind of a silent affirmation of just how perfectly wonderful he is. And my baby has the sweetest piercing blue eyes and this perfectly soft and wispy black baby hair on the top of his head. He smiles at me. And oh, my heart soars. Just retelling it makes me ecstatic. What a spectacular picture of love and hope. And what a concrete reminder that death is not the end of the line for us. There's more! And from the tiny little glimpse I've seen, it's marvelous. My angel is being loved in the most perfect place he could be. By the hands of people who knew him as soon as he drew breath. He doesn't hurt, he doesn't cry. You know that tingly happy feeling you feel when you hear a good hearty baby laugh?? That is the only life my child will ever know...
Thinking about the loss of our baby is sometimes a physical pain. My arms literally ache to hold him. If you've seen me holding *your* child before, you've probably seen me plant kisses on their sweet little cheeks and foreheads...I can't help myself! Getting to love *your* babies plugs that cavity for a brief moment. The smell of the top of a baby's head is literally intoxicating to me. Sometimes I think God intended for me to love *your* children fervently first before He sent me mine. I am so very happy to do that. Making children feel safe and happy makes my heart whole...
One fine day Jonathan and I will get to hold and kiss and snuggle our sweet baby boy. I fully believe that time will not be as we comprehend it here on earth when we get to Heaven. I believe it will seem as though no time has passed when we see him. And what a sweet glorious day that will be...
Hopefully you've read the Our Journey So Far and About the Womacks sections in the tabs above for some background about our story. It is the beginning of February...on Tuesday of this week Jonathan will turn 31 years old. At the end of May we will be moving from the West Indies back to the USA. And in June we will begin the process of IVF for the first time. There are many many unknowns, yes. But I've felt the need to answer a few questions that I know SO many of you might be asking. Especially if this is the first time you've heard that Jonathan and I have decided to go this route. It's not a "justification"...more just a sharing of information. So that you can help pray for us and support us along the way. There is nothing more valuable to us than the love and support of our friends and family. In the coming months we will need you all more than ever. To help encourage us when the going gets tough, to help hold us up when bad news comes or painful procedures are necessary, and to hopefully share in the unimaginable joy that will be hearing that our dreams have come true finally.
IVF huh?? Shouldn't you try less invasive procedures first? You guys are so young!
Well my friends, we actually *have* undergone several less invasive measures. We have had 1 failed IUI, 2 additional natural cycles with the help of Clomid (a drug to help stimulate my ovaries to produce multiple eggs), 1 cycle with Letrozole (a less aggressive medication to stimulate my ovaries which is actually an oral form of chemotherapy for breast cancer recovery), and one round of Clomid with the intention of IUI which failed 3/4 of the way through the cycle. I have had more blood drawn in the last 5 years than I can even remember. Jonathan's soldiers have been evaluated and found to be more than ok. I was misdiagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome...the blanket diagnosis for women who have irregular cycles with no other explanation). Blood work just this past March revealed elevated Prolactin (that's the hormone your body produces when you're breastfeeding that signals your body to stop ovulating while you're caring for an infant). That is the reason I was not ovulating without a trigger shot, so I've been taking medication which has restored my ovulation since June 2013. Yet we are still not pregnant. Yes, we are young...sort of. A woman's egg count decreases and her risk factors increase exponentially after 35. I am *only* 29, yes. We want at least 3 children. You do the math! Not to mention, if it can't happen without help anyway, what does it matter what my age is? Bottom line is that IVF was not a snap decision for us. We have arrived at this decision after many years of trying and failing. Many cycles of help from specialists. Many many hours of prayer and consideration. God *has* called us to be parents...it is our heart's desire...and right now we feel Him giving us the go ahead for IVF, and we've seen evidence of His provisions there...
Speaking of provisions...isn't IVF outrageously expensive? You guys are in med school...how are you affording this??
I don't really like answering this question. Or rather, I really don't like it being asked. But the short and sweet answer is that we have been *planning* this. And by planning I mean we have been making sacrifices as necessary to be able to sock away enough savings to be able to pay for this procedure. So no...we aren't taking out credit cards or "going broke". God has provided for us in unimaginable ways in the past 8 months and we are being purposeful about our money management. It's a sacrifice yes...a constant one until we write that check in June. But one we are more than willing to make in our quest to become parents...
Have you guys considered adoption?
Yes. Most definitely. We have seriously considered it for a long time. Spent many hours in prayer about it. Asked for prayer about it. Consulted with friends who have adopted. We are actually watching some dear friends of ours go through the process of adopting a child here in Dominica *right now*. We have considered whether God's plan for us to become parents was through adoption. The hard and fast truth about it is that we don't feel the calling. We both feel strongly that the decision to adopt really has to come from a heart for adoption. We feel it isn't right to adopt a child because you want a baby. You have to be called to do it. Called to make the choice to bring a child into your home either from an otherwise bad situation, abandonment, or just the choice of birthparents. We think adoption is beautiful. And we *do* have a heart for orphans and impoverished children. But if we ourselves decided to adopt it would be because we desperately want a child. Not because we have been called to adopt. So for us, right now today, adoption is not the right choice. We are trying to follow the plan!
Ok, but what if you've put all your eggs in one basket and then this doesn't work...then what?
Well...per the title of this blog we are Thinking Positive. But we are fully aware of the fact that a round of IVF by no means guarantees us a pregnancy. And so yes, we will have spent a huge amount of money and invested emotionally in a procedure that failed yet again. If that happens, we will need your prayers and your encouragement. We will need you to hold us up. It won't be the end of the road for us though. Assuming we are successful in creating a number of embryos in this first round, we will freeze the ones we don't use in this first transfer. If this cycle fails we will try again when we've been able to come up with the funds to make it happen. There we go with those sacrifices again! The ultimate answer to that question is that we ask for your positive thinking too...and also for your support throughout our journey...wherever the road to Baby Womack leads...
Doesn't IVF put you at risk for multiples? Will you be the new Octo-mom??
Lord let's hope not! But yes, multiples is a "risk" that comes along with IVF. The doctors at OU know what they're doing. They know their stats and they will help us make educated decisions throughout this process. We trust their judgment and we know that they are a practice of ethical and morally upstanding doctors. The most likely multiple situation is twins. Anything beyond that is not a likely scenario, but yes, it is certainly an outside possibility. Jonathan and I have discussed this facet of IVF a lot and we feel confident that if twins or triplets are in our future, then so be it. We will continue to trust that God will continue to provide as he has thus far. I heard a woman speak at UBC several years ago about her infertility struggles. She said "I prayed and begged God for children for years and His answer was wait. I shook my fists at him and asked Him why. And then unexpectedly I had two sets of twins within 2 years of each other. And it was then that I realized that I wouldn't be able to be a mother without fully relying on Him. I planned and He laughed. And now I have 4 beautiful children!" That speech has been in the forefront of my mind ever since. If I am to be a mother of multiples, I have confidence that my God will hold my hand through it. However if we do end up with multiples...you *might* get called in as reinforcements my friends... ;)
Jonathan is getting ready to start a residency soon right? Where does the whole medical school thing fit into this scenario?
Funny you should ask that. Even within the last 10 days God has closed doors and opened others in this realm. This was a major concern for us too. Not so much the residency thing, but more the clinical sciences situation. Jonathan is nearly finished with his basic sciences, but he still has 81 weeks of clinical rotations to complete in the US before graduation. God has graciously reworked our original "plan" and made the process of IVF and pregnancy even more possible given our new schedule. I know that's probably a fairly vague answer, so suffice to say, for now, that between May 1st and September 15th God has provided an awesome window for us to make this happen. And beyond that we already see Him paving the way...
What can we do to help? What do you guys need?
Right now today, we need your prayer and support. We need your positive thinking! We need your words of encouragement. We want you to be involved in Project Baby Womack however you see fit. Whatever that looks like for you. When the day comes that we bring our sweet baby (or babies!) into this world, we will need you like crazy. We will need your hands and feet. We will need your compassion. We will need your joy and excitement! What we need from you is to join our army of support. Wait patiently with us! Ask us how the process is going! We need you to help hold us up. We want the volley of praise to be HUGE when God sees this through. When He works his miracles and sends us our angel(s) we want you all to be a part of the roar of gratitude sent His way! And we want to be able to tell our children that they had a multitude of people praying for their arrival. It takes a village y'all...
In closing, if you have questions...ask! We won't be offended. Honestly, I'd rather you go ahead and ask instead of speculate or assume. I've been guilty of that myself in the past. So just ask and I'll answer. Jonathan and I are boldly proceeding in the direction we feel God is leading us...come along with us for the ride!
