To My Fellow "Sisters in Waiting"...

As I've stated about a million times on this blog, I cannot stress enough the importance of solidarity among women dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss.  One thing that helped me through our loss and has continued to help us through our dealings with infertility are all the women and couples going through the same thing...eager and bold enough to share their stories and comfort us with words of wisdom and hope.  I've gotten countless emails, Facebook messages, texts, and comments from people everywhere speaking up about their own journeys.  People wanting to join hands and hearts as we walk this difficult road in hopes of getting our very very happy endings (or beginnings!) one day soon.  So, my fellow "Sisters in Waiting"...I have some words for you today.  I hope they make your heart happy!

You yourself did nothing wrong.  You are not infertile because you ate the wrong things, didn't exercise enough, or are living in the wrong place.  You did not lose your baby because you are unhealthy or your body is "inhospitable".  YOU are enough.  And you are NOT defective...

Don't feel alone when you want to punch someone or something.  It happens to the best of us.  Anger is a natural human emotion and one we cannot discredit as a part of this journey.  Invest in a good firm pillow and take your frustrations out there.  And then call me...I'll be cynical with you until you can laugh about it again...

This is NOT a punishment.  You are NOT being punished.  This is NOT God's way of making you pay for your past sins.  You are PERFECT in His eyes...

It's ok to feel jealousy sometimes too.  It's normal to see a pregnant woman or a pregnancy announcement and feel that pang of jealousy.  But don't let it consume you.  Identify it as a longing of your heart and remember that one day YOU will be the one announcing that pregnancy or adoption!

Dream big!  Pick out those baby names, pin those nursery ideas, bookmark those great parenting articles.  Take advantage of the fact that you have such a ridiculously long time to plan for your babies.  The longer you train for the event, the better you'll be when it's your time to step up to the mommy plate!

Find a fellow Sister in Waiting and share your story with her.  Ask her to share hers.  Cry together, laugh together, gripe together, pray together.  It's more healing than you can imagine...

Give people grace when they don't understand what you're going through.  When they ask questions that hurt, show them mercy...don't say what you're thinking in your head!  Be graceful and kind even when it's hard.  Because in the end it really does make you better...

Write it down.  Either privately or publicly (I've done both).  It's healing and liberating!

Don't let people feel sorry for you...

Make a "secret" Pinterest board to pin all your baby hopes onto.  It keeps people from speculating and asking questions when they see you pinning baby stuff.  But it fills that void for a minute to spend time thinking about that future that you want so badly without having to field the "Is there a baby on the way??" question we love so much...

Do research and read up.  It's ok to know all there is to know about conception and hormones and birth and parenting.  It doesn't make you pathetic.  It makes you intelligent...

And last but not least, BELIEVE HIM.  He put this desire on your heart. HE put it there.  And He's still in the business of miracles.  He said that we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts.  He said you can move mountains with faith as small as a mustard seed.  Believe Him when He says he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you...to give you a Hope and a Future.  He's got big plans for you.  Keep believing that He will come through for you.  And when the Heavenly clashes with our earthly hearts' desires there will be unimaginable joy and peace and understanding.  And it will be vastly more than we ever hoped or imagined it would be!

Keep on keepin' on.  Don't give up.  There WILL be joy in the morning!