Thursday, November 13, 2014

What Being Pregnant is Like for Me

I am already miraculously 14 weeks pregnant.  Already through that first trimester...a 3rd of the way through my pregnancy!  Baby Womack, being the overachiever that our little nugget is, is actually gestationally about a week beyond what my LMP dictates.  So really, baby is about 15 weeks big.  The size of a navel orange...4 inches from crown to rump and 2.5 ounces!  I frequently feel my little peanut wiggling around inside my belly.  Baby is particularly active on my way home from dropping Jonathan off at the hospital in the mornings and when I finally lay down and relax in bed at night.  We can hear the heartbeat loud and clear on our handheld Doppler and my little nugget particularly likes the left side of my uterus.  Always seems to be snuggled up on that side and my Doppler picks up the heartbeat on that side nearly every single time.

For years I have dreamed about what it would be like to be pregnant.  What would a growing belly feel like?  Would I be like my mom and not really have nausea at all, or more like my grandmother who got sick by just having her hands in dishwater?  What weird cravings would I have?  Would I be terrified the whole first trimester?  So now that I'm here, my pregnancy is as unique as the sweet baby growing inside me.  Here's what being pregnant has been like for me...

"Morning" Sickness
Thankfully this has subsided some in this second trimester, however the first 12 1/2 weeks were a little brutal.  Thankfully I only threw up a handful of times, and one of those times was triggered by my superhuman sense of smell.  But the worst part of pregnancy nausea for me happened at dinner time.  I would be starving, order whatever sounded good (my choices were pretty limited), and by the time it got to me I could only force one or two bites down without feeling like it would all come back up.  The only two things that I could always eat without feeling sick (even when I felt like throwing up) were pickles or salads.  Now in week 14, I dry heave almost every morning.  I hurt Jonathan's heart the other day because my dry heaving turned into a frantic attempt to grab a Walmart sack to puke into while I was still in bed...

Superhuman Smell
I've always had a weird "smeller", but now that I'm pregnant I smell EVERYTHING.  And I mean everything.  On the flight here to Miami, a woman sat next to me and I swear I could smell everything she'd eaten, everywhere she'd been, and everything in her purse.  And let me tell you, NONE of it was pleasant.  I had to make sure there was a barf bag in the seat in front of me just in case...

Food Cravings
Thankfully I haven't had any weird off the wall cravings.  My friend Sara craved the smell of sponges, my sister Amanda craved potato chips in mustard, and I've read some crazy stories of women wanting things like guacamole with tuna fish over vanilla ice cream!  I don't have weird cravings, but baby ALWAYS wants salads with any kind of vinaigrette dressings, pickles, and red velvet cake.  Specifically red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.  So right now in my life, if you want to be my best friend (or if you want to bribe me in some way), just bring me one of those 3 things and you'll be promoted to sainthood...

Exhaustion
Again, this has subsided some in this second trimester, but for the first 12 weeks, I simply HAD to have a nap every day around 3:00.  I would get to the point where I couldn't even follow a conversation or form full thoughts in the middle of the day.  I've regained some of my energy now, but I still feel sleepy after lunch and by about 9:00 at night I'm ready to pack it in.  Which works really well actually since Jonathan and I have a 4:15 AM wake up call these days...

Ringing Ears
This increased blood volume has some pretty weird side effects.  My ears ring several times a day lately.  At the beginning of the pregnancy, there was this weird thumping inside my ears like someone was knocking on my eardrums.  I am also frequently out of breath.  Just walking up the stairs requires a break afterwards.  Sometimes I even get out of breath when I walk for long distances.  The veins on my hands and feet look subhuman.  But miraculously, my blood pressure has not increased really at all from what is normal for me.  It stays stable at 100/70.  I just think that's amazing.  The fact that I've got more than twice the amount of blood in my body, but the pressure stays the same is incredible...

A New Experience of Love
I can't explain this fully.  I loved this baby the minute I knew he/she was a growing embryo at OU.  I loved our nugget more when I knew he/she was strong and ready enough to be transferred into my uterus.  More still once I knew they were inside of me.  Overwhelmingly more when I saw that beautiful little heartbeat.  Still more when I saw my baby moving and growing.  Miraculously still more as I've seen his/her little personality shine through on ultrasound.  My angel already has a little personality, little mannerisms, preferences, comforts.  Baby and I have little conversations throughout the day and I tell him/her how excited I am to be his/her mommy, how much I can't wait to meet him/her.  I tell our little peanut how special he/she is and how much his/her Daddy loves him/her.  But I know that the love I know right now for this precious baby is minuscule compared to what it will be maybe even next week.  And for this reason, I can't fathom what it will be like to see those beautiful baby eyes in person, smell that intoxicating baby smell on MY baby (I actually smell it some already...I think it's seeping from my pores), touch those tiny little fingers and toes, kiss that precious head and those perfect little cheeks.  I have imagined that moment for years, but now that I'm a short 6 months or less from that being a reality for me is just overwhelmingly exciting.  I can imagine the moment, but I know that I can't even wrap my brain around the love I will feel when I see this little one for the first time.  The love I feel now when I feel this little peanut kicking and wiggling inside of me is HUGE, but it doesn't touch how much love I will feel when the weight of this miracle is actually in my arms for real.  An experience of love that is new every day for me...I'm a mommy now...and every day I get closer to May I experience a little more and a little more of that love...

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