Today was our first ultrasound appointment since we started the stim shots (the building we go to our appointments in is called the Harold Hamm Diabetes Center...hence the blog title...). Right now there are 14 large follicles visible on ultrasound and 14+ smaller follicles that will likely get bigger over the next few days of shots. So essentially there are nearly 30 follicles growing in my ovaries right now. I *knew* I felt something happening in there! Before when I've taken Clomid I've had a maximum of 6 eggs and felt like I was about to burst. Now, on day 5 of stims, I've got nearly 30! So you can imagine what my insides are feeling like! My lower back is super tender and my lower belly feels very full. Me and tylenol have a very close relationship right now...
Yesterday was a particularly difficult day hormonally. I am very aware of my heightened emotional state, so I've been able to, for the most part, keep things in check. Jonathan and I had lunch with my friend Rachel G. and while she was telling me the woes of day care for her son Henry, I literally burst into tears! I couldn't turn it off! I was nearly weeping in the middle of Chipotle because she was telling me her son's nap time was gonna get all messed up now that he's back in day care. It was kind of ridiculous actually. And then last night I really had to psych myself up for my shots. You see, the Lupron and the Follistim are no big deal. Especially since the Follistim has been backed off, so I'm only taking 125 iu of it each night. It's quick and easy and the needle is microscopic. The Menopur, however, is a beast. I know I'm probably being a big baby...I am definitely grateful for the fact that I don't have to take extra shots for other things. I have a friend who has to endure Lovenox shots every night during IVF prep cycles and all through pregnancy...*those* shots are really beasts. But the Menopur just burns going in and there's SO much fluid going in I just feel like the needle is in my belly for 5 minutes! I have little tiny bruises at all my injection sites, so all around my belly button kind of looks like a mine field with all the needle prick marks and the bruises. Last night after my 3rd shot (which is always the Menopur) I burst into tears again. It hurt and I was emotional. And even after the needle comes out, my belly feels like someone is burning it with a match and a little lump forms and turns red. I'm not really sure I can put into words exactly what was going through my head at that moment, but it took me a few minutes to reign it in...
It hit me today that these nearly 30 follicles I'm seeing on ultrasound could potentially be my babies. One of those follicles is one half of Maggie or Greysen or Avie or Lillie! Dr. Hansen is very happy with everything he's seeing so far, and we will go in on Friday again for another monitoring appointment. It's then that he will probably tell us when our retrieval is likely to happen. It's getting more real and more intense every day! I will be so relieved to eliminate this uncomfortable feeling in my ovaries after they go in and get all these eggs. But I'm looking forward to the uncomfortable feeling in my lower belly as my babies hang on in there are start growing inside my body. The thought of that is pretty much intoxicating. One week from today I could have embryos in the lab...maybe sooner! It's hard to even wrap my brain around that fact...
For now, we will just keep stimming away and I'll keep taking these belly shots like a pro...even if I do cry a little every night like the cry baby that I am ;). I'll keep you all posted on the progress and what the next few days entail. Keep up those prayers and try not to laugh too much if I turn into a puddle on the floor in front of you over something silly. It's the hormones y'all...
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